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05 November 2007 @ 10:39 pm
Well, here it is again.

The End.

I'm officially retiring bravest_fox once again. I may be back again, but I doubt it. There's too much pain here, too much sadness...too much regret. I'm not going to delete this account, as there's so much that happened here that has made me a better person although a sadder person.

I look back at my first entry, a little over a year ago and I marvel at where I am now compared to then. It just goes to show that there's no real going back. You can't go back. I've come so far, and lost so much, and it's very hard to look at and imagine.

I miss you. More than you even know. What I offered was genuine. What I offered was all I had at the time - me. I doubt these words will even be read, so what does it matter, right? My heart aches when I think of you. Sure, shit happened. But you get up, you keep going, you don't just give up on everything...or anyone. No one gets left behind. I've done what I can, and I'm strong enough to admit that it...that I was inadequate.

So be it.

Goodbye friends, goodbye enemies, Goodbye to the memories that sting. Let's put the world and history behind us, never forgetting, and never dwelling. Forward, there is depth, there is darkness, and there is despair...but if there is one thing that I have learned above all things: love is always given to those who look for it. Always.

When I listen
When I hear and never listen
It makes wonder, makes me bleed

Make me see
Make me listen, make me wonder
Make me feel, make me dream and still remember
More, no more, no less, no more to find

Breathe, bleeding, haunting, silently enough just to feel
Escaping, missing, silently once beautiful

Make me see
Make me listen, make me wonder
Make me feel, make me dream and not surrender

As my voice it’s silent
And my heart it feels less than before
And my feelings fail me
Pretend to be lovely

Make me beautiful again
And feel like I am special still
remind me how to smile
And feel like diamonds
Make me beautiful again
Cry my tears and vanish them
Whisper in my ear as I run away and hide
Pretend to be lovely

Make me bleed
Make be whisper, make me secret
Make me wish
I was never born to say this as I wait

For such simpleness
As I hear my quiet haunting
As I feel this silence collapses me

Make me beautiful again
And feel like I am special still
And remind me how to smile
And feel like diamonds
Make me beautiful again
Cry my tears and vanish them
Whisper in my ear as I
Run away and hide

Make me beautiful again
And feel like I’m special
remind me how I smiled
I felt like poison
Once beautiful again
When my tears were cherished then
Whisper in my ear as I
Disappear once beautiful
Current Location: Beige Hell
Current Mood: contemplativeGood journey.
Current Music: The Last Dance - "Once Beautiful"
03 November 2007 @ 04:01 pm
01 November 2007 @ 01:13 pm
Current Mood: gigglySO entertained!
Current Mood: awakeDon't make fun of me!
Current Music: "Hasta la vista, baby" is Japanese?
09 October 2007 @ 03:54 pm
80 Things You Might Not Know About Me That You Have Always Wanted To Know But Were Too Afraid To Ask Because You Are Scared Of Rejection Or Something Equally Embarrassing And Sad.

--(that seems an excessive amount of capital letters o_0)

Whats your middle name?

Would you rather get 1,12 or 24 roses?
--Meh, I'm not hungry right now, so I'll say 1 for now.

How big is your bed?
--Fuckin' futon. Futon is fun to say. FOO-taun *snicker*

What are you listening to right now?
--The Last Dance - "Breath" (The Dreamside Remix)

What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number?

What was the last thing you ate?
--Cold pizza that I just snarfed from upstairs. When the foxes are away the Pandas will play...apparently.

Last person you hugged?
--Me Mam.

How is the weather right now?

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
--You know, it's really sad when you can't remember the last time you used the phone, but I don't.

What is the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
--How they carry themselves, hair, voice, makeup, jewelry. Yes I notice all those things at once.

Favorite type of Food?
--Twin Dragon. It's a five-star restaurant on Broadway and Evans. Tasty! We should go some time ^^

Do you want children?
--I already said I wasn't hungry. Sheesh, pay attention.

Do you drink?
--Now and then.

Get so drunk you don't remember the entire night ?
--Not the entire night, I usually forget what I said though.

Hair color?
--Auburn. and yes the carpet matches the drapes. Although the carpet's a much brighter and vibrant red. Now then, next time on TMI Theater:

Eye color?
--Murkwater gray

Do you wear contacts/glasses?
--I have four eyes and I can see behind me with them.

Favorite holiday?
--Valentine's Day! What other day celebrates chocolate?

Favorite season?
--Ooh, tough one. Probably autumn because it's cold and slightly mysterious...like me ^^

Have you ever cried over a girl/boy?
--A "girl/boy?" no I can't say I've ever met one of those. Dixie Normous was pretty nice, but she had a package.

Last Movie you Watched?
--*thinks* Across the Universe. Really cool! I give it two paws up! ^^

What books are you reading?
--Too many to name. Check my Facebook if you -really- must know...which I'm guessing no one does.

--Yes please.

Favorite Movie?
--The End of Evangelion, Evangelion Rebuild (and I haven't even seen them yet!), Silent Hill, Crash, V for Vendetta, The Fountain, The Spitfire Grill, Paradise

Favorite college football Team?
--Death! If we were in church I'd choke the life out of you, right in front of Jesus!

What were you doing before filling this out?
--Just got home.

Any pets?
--Shmo and Erik

Dogs or cats?

Favorite flower?

Have you ever loved someone?
--Too many.

Who would you like to see right now?
--My dad

Have you ever fired a gun?
--Bangitty bangitty bang! My sword isn't loaded.

Do you like to travel by train?
--Yah! Tiz exciting! I really want to take a cross-country train trip! One that has overnight compartments!

If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
--London. I've always wanted to go. They have Jelly Babies there! ^^

Are you missing someone?
--The cashier at Best Buy. Nummy nummy nummy! "With a spoon, I tell you! A SPOOOOOON!!!"

Do you have a tattoo?
--Not yet. But these are the kind I want...
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
--I would if I had a TV =(

Are you hiding something from someone?
--Probably. Lets ask the cashier at Best Buy XD

Are you 18?
--I was at one point.

What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?
--Fack yoo!

Did you get enough sleep last night?
--Nope. I wasn't sleeping next to the one I love.

First thing you thought about this morning?

What do you have handy at your bedside?
--Alarm clock, card list, lotion for my hands, box of Kleenex

What makes you unique?
--Nothing. I'm generic.

Are you afraid of the dark?
--Nah, my powers are stronger at night.

Favorite song?
--"Red Stars" by the Birthday Massacre. (Right now anyway ^^ )

What are you afraid of?
--Deepok Chopra said that "The things we fear the most are the things that have already happened." Well said!!

Are you a giver or a taker?
--Ugh, giver. Too much sometimes.

What are your nicknames?
--Foxy, Bean
Current Mood: amusedSo easily entertained...
Current Music: Covenant - Winter Comes
02 October 2007 @ 11:57 am
The title says it all. I'll post the link here when it's ready.
Current Mood: tiredAnd my eye still hurts!
Current Music: Madonna - Die Another Day
25 September 2007 @ 01:45 pm
Current Mood: amusedI wuv Party Monster
18 September 2007 @ 03:35 pm
I found this quote from Wonderfalls. The situation it was used in wasn't directed to furries, but I believe it applies.

"...Human interaction is scary. And it's unpredictable and you have to interact with other, well, humans. And that's always messy. You're probably scared, and that's why you're using your animals as an excuse to avoid risk."

Seems to be true of every furry I've met so far. Please, prove me wrong.
Current Mood: aggravatedStill need a reason
16 September 2007 @ 02:59 pm
Current Mood: aggravatedFUCK
13 September 2007 @ 10:10 pm